11-10-2011, 07:45 PM
Hi, I came back to add something to my previous response....but, I find it isn't here.
I can't remember exactly what I said - something along the lines of not feeling capable of doing a critique of the poem...but, I wanted to say how it affected me.
I am a timid avoider of horror ....and found it truly 'ughy!' if there is such a word.
The images are so stark and terrible (especially 'the hook' reference) that I didn't want to read on after the second verse....but, I'm glad I did, especially to find that this wasn't real life. Which is why I returned to my original 'lost' comments.
I am always jumping straight into poems without taking any notice of their title! Bad move. Of course, Armchair Slasher gives the game away.
I am timidly, now going to say something about how you have written it.....
"More deaths will come, followed by a final girl
who escapes covered in blood, her limbs almost stiff,".........this doesn't fit somehow. It loses something because it seems like a 'and this happened, and then this happened' (is that what everyone means by 'telly'?)
ps the first time some-one used that about one of my poems, in my newbiness, I thought it meant something to do with television (we use 'telly' in my neck of the woods as a shortened form for tv)
Any way
Good write (even tho' it scared the pants off me)
Last line is genius
I can't remember exactly what I said - something along the lines of not feeling capable of doing a critique of the poem...but, I wanted to say how it affected me.
I am a timid avoider of horror ....and found it truly 'ughy!' if there is such a word.
The images are so stark and terrible (especially 'the hook' reference) that I didn't want to read on after the second verse....but, I'm glad I did, especially to find that this wasn't real life. Which is why I returned to my original 'lost' comments.
I am always jumping straight into poems without taking any notice of their title! Bad move. Of course, Armchair Slasher gives the game away.
I am timidly, now going to say something about how you have written it.....
"More deaths will come, followed by a final girl
who escapes covered in blood, her limbs almost stiff,".........this doesn't fit somehow. It loses something because it seems like a 'and this happened, and then this happened' (is that what everyone means by 'telly'?)
ps the first time some-one used that about one of my poems, in my newbiness, I thought it meant something to do with television (we use 'telly' in my neck of the woods as a shortened form for tv)
Any way
Good write (even tho' it scared the pants off me)
Last line is genius