Some thoughts on reading the " Confessions of Aubrey Beardsley"

[billy]

Painted sails of paper boats
toss on horizons
where the kites of nostalgia
tug and struggle
with Bernoulli effects;
you have to run as fast as you can
into the wind,
you see, is this line strong enough to be on it's own or would it work better moved up?
and let go. this one looks week but isn't this feels as though it should have it's own line.
This is best done
near a cliff top
but parallel to, not i like the ambiguity in this. was it intended i wonder.
towards the edge,
where the winds swirl
and billow the legs great image in these 3 lines.
of white shorts
and splay the hair of girls
to curling mermaid tresses should there be a period or something at the end of this line?
salt stings grazed knees
and seagrass cuts bitter
as sherbet lemons
sucked until the tongie bleeds. tongue, i love sherbet lemons

Illustrations, some coloured-in
quite carefully really,
although lines are crossed
in places
imprints of nail-bitten fists,
white knuckles clamped
around Lakeland pencil-crayons
swept into the fantastic
world of fin de siecle storyland.
Who would have thought Aubrey
as dissolute a Decadent
as all the others who produced
the wonders encased
in delicious
inherited hardbacked volumes.
i think this verse excellent. i also think it needs a period after places.

101 Things for Bright Young Poets to do No.3

not a lot of constructive ideas on this steff. for me it lacks a few periods, even though i see you're going the light grammar route.
i do hope aubrey is generic. i think i must be a little bit aubrey after reading this.

the whole poem has a feel of freedom within it. the latter verse really does make me think of poe and the like in a good way. and of aubrey in a better way. i think the last verse is also able too stand alone as a singular piece, but that doesn't mean i think it should be split.
thanks for the read. wish i could be more help