Logos

[Leanne]

Very helpful, thanks! This is still at first draft stage, though I wrote it about a year ago -- I had posted it on the only site available to me at the time, where (despite lofty claims to the contrary) honest feedback is almost actively discouraged, so I pretty much never bothered to rework it.

I will definitely change the first couple of lines, and I'm not keen on oozes either, though I'm not entirely sure what I want to replace it with yet. I'm also unhappy with the obvious nature of the last line, but I am not sure yet whether that's my own personal aversion so I'm awaiting judgment.

Many thanks