Asteroid 15338

[Wildcard]

Hi bassetluv,
I've read some of Isaac Asimov's poetry on-line and this feels a lot like that. I should begin by saying that I am a beginner in poetry, though. So take my critique with a grain of salt.

] Asteroid 15338 --I took the ']' for a typo . . . if it is, you can edit the post. There is a button in the right hand corner of the post

The universe’s rising star; --I don't think the semi-colon is needed here. Generally it links two complimentary independent clauses. While the two clauses are related, the first expands on the second, instead of supporting and neither are independent
Shining, excelling, --This seems an odd choice of words. Maybe replace 'excelling' with 'propelling' or something like that jmo
Gone.
Though not forever,
For now you lie,
Nestled between
The belt of Mars and Jupiter;
A life ever-lasting, --I think 'an ever-lasting life' would sound better
Spent orbiting the Sun.
Only to be seen
With the keen,
Inquisitive eye.
Your presence constant,
A reminder to all,
To dream, to achieve.

I hope you find something I've said helpful. Thanks for sharing. Do try to give some feedback to other poets when you can. It's what this place is all about.