10-29-2011, 06:01 AM
Jill
ps - I don't understand 'This bit, I, meant. by 'onset'.....sorry for being thick
I realised that in a poem about a storm, talking about liking the 'onset' was vahue in the extreme, so edited to add the lines I had in mind -- nothing v opaque!
I understand quite well what you mean about meter; I do it, and I tell myself that it is OK because it sounds Ok to me, but then sometimes reflect that I have really been self-indulgent or lazy. This is a good poem tho. You need never fear that I will be shooting you down in flames, and I don't think anyone will --we should say what we think, though, in case it is of help. I had better post some more poems, to show the sort of nonsense I am capable of (or secretly inordinately proud of-- would I ever tell?)
I am not a very good critic, and my natural way, sometimes needs translation. For example, if I say 'Not bad, old fruit', in other people's language that would be 'That is AWESOME! AMAZING! I LOVE you!!!'
ps - I don't understand 'This bit, I, meant. by 'onset'.....sorry for being thick
I realised that in a poem about a storm, talking about liking the 'onset' was vahue in the extreme, so edited to add the lines I had in mind -- nothing v opaque!
I understand quite well what you mean about meter; I do it, and I tell myself that it is OK because it sounds Ok to me, but then sometimes reflect that I have really been self-indulgent or lazy. This is a good poem tho. You need never fear that I will be shooting you down in flames, and I don't think anyone will --we should say what we think, though, in case it is of help. I had better post some more poems, to show the sort of nonsense I am capable of (or secretly inordinately proud of-- would I ever tell?)
I am not a very good critic, and my natural way, sometimes needs translation. For example, if I say 'Not bad, old fruit', in other people's language that would be 'That is AWESOME! AMAZING! I LOVE you!!!'