10-29-2011, 04:50 AM
Hi Jill,
If I were going to look for anything to change (and this could simply be my own style differences), I would consider removing the expositional asides or blending them into the images and actions more.
Examples:
A normal lazy summer afternoon.
creating a feeling of vague unease
The sky was filled with peculiar light,
If I were going to look for anything to change (and this could simply be my own style differences), I would consider removing the expositional asides or blending them into the images and actions more.
Examples:
A normal lazy summer afternoon.
creating a feeling of vague unease
The sky was filled with peculiar light,
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson