10-29-2011, 03:51 AM
Thank you, Abu. I was a bit scared that this would be shot down out of the sky, as it is all over the place metrically and rhyme-wise.
I must confess I didn't have much control over this particular poem. The iambic pentameter lines are purely accidental.... they came into my head, unbidden. I carried on as if nothing had happened. As each line occurred to me I tried them out for size, if they fitted I used them, if they didn't they were discarded. I used to write poetry which always had end-stopped rhyming and strict meter...but, I now like to 'play' when I write and use all the new stuff I've been learning such as internal rhyming (lazy/hazy) and alliteration (cliff-high cataract,
cascading waters crashed) and to stop worrying if a rhyme doesn't present itself, but grab one when it does.
ps - I don't understand 'This bit, I, meant. by 'onset'.....sorry for being thick.
pps - the first 'oppressively' can be jettisoned and not be substituted, I feel, with no loss of rhythm. Thanks
I must confess I didn't have much control over this particular poem. The iambic pentameter lines are purely accidental.... they came into my head, unbidden. I carried on as if nothing had happened. As each line occurred to me I tried them out for size, if they fitted I used them, if they didn't they were discarded. I used to write poetry which always had end-stopped rhyming and strict meter...but, I now like to 'play' when I write and use all the new stuff I've been learning such as internal rhyming (lazy/hazy) and alliteration (cliff-high cataract,
cascading waters crashed) and to stop worrying if a rhyme doesn't present itself, but grab one when it does.
ps - I don't understand 'This bit, I, meant. by 'onset'.....sorry for being thick.
pps - the first 'oppressively' can be jettisoned and not be substituted, I feel, with no loss of rhythm. Thanks