Presenting

[addy]

A fantastic (as always) and surprisingly thoughtful piece Leanne. What I thought was tongue-in-cheek transformed itself into something even more as the poem progressed. The tone is perfect (not over-the-top and punchy at the exact places it means to be), enjambment is very good and spoken out loud the piece sounds positively sumptuous. if I had to pick one tiny nit, perhaps the analogy, though entertaining as hell, plays out too long. However, it does make the turn by stanza 6 quite surprising and interesting, so in the end it's not really an issue per se.

This piece is a winner, imo.

I am weary of this pattern
the in-out-clench-aah pattern
the ooh-that’s-good-now-finish-quick
slippery slick

the constant submission
to the missionary position
with all the frustration
of failed penetration
the batter and splatter
the fence

The see-sawing somebody
neutered and nobody
teetering taut on the edge of the wall
willfully, willingly
playing with poesy
waiting for friction to trigger the fall

Tease me and treat me
to tastes of exotica
feed me erotica
spiced and sincere
whip me with whispers of
spray-sated waterfalls
white-suited curtain calls
dance in my ear

Let me drown
bring me down
to the pearl-studded beds
that shine through the shells
of black-and-white hells
and preachers with Janus-like heads

I am weary
I am sleeping
and my metronome is keeping
time and being
never seeing
that the zeitgeist has become
less a spirit
than an irritating drum
beating softly till the audience is numb i love this: the idea of an internal body clock being directed (forced) by a larger, quietly oppressive rhythm of zeitgeist. The reveal is quite clever. Very well done

let them come

let them come

I am done Nice play of structure to draw things to a close while complementing the drum idea. It reads out perfectly.