Being Cool

[addy]

I like this one, Jack. Wry, funny, and very much relatable to anyone who's been a teenager. Some issues, but it's got a solid, winning concept that will shine with just a teeny bit of polish.

I used to think pretending to like
only bands thought of as cool - This line does read pretty weak... not helped by "thought" and "think' so close together.
The Clash, Nirvana, Joy Division -
and despising white bread pop
would make me a better person.

When the albums spun their way I think you can improve "spun" with a similar synonym... something that's more intense / chaotic
through songs of drink and drugs
(I eating a custard cream) Like this touch
it felt as though coolness had come
to let me suck its golden cock.

Countless failures have proved I think it would be interesting to make a stronger statement, or a stronger allusion on these general failures.
listening to Girls Aloud, Kenny G
or Cher has no effect on cleverness,
regardless what the cool kids say.
Life doesn't care if you wear a mohawk.

Play the X-Ray Spex all day,
you still had a wank over Phillip Schofield,
busted in your clean bedsheets
while great men worked to cure cancer. Again i like the sense of this line Jack, maybe it needs a little extra "oomph" though. Right now it is serviceable (though perhaps that is intentional, to keep focus on the punchline?).
Men who probably liked The Osmonds. I seriously laughed out loud at this