decent feedback like this is always helps 
a monument should be worth something but personally i don't think so. i saw the luther king monument on cnn and though that so long after his death little has changed. rushmore, the cenotaph, the needle, the wall at ground zero. they stopped nothing. people stop and go wow and buy their shoes made under animal conditions, race hate will not change because there's a few monuments of him laying around. if anything i think they make us remember; just before we commit the same sin over.
after a few rereads of the last line, i agree that it's not only off but very weak. i'll have a pop and shoring it up later. with the refrain, at first i spelt yoke as yolk. managed to alter it before and feedback came hehe.
a monument should be worth something but personally i don't think so. i saw the luther king monument on cnn and though that so long after his death little has changed. rushmore, the cenotaph, the needle, the wall at ground zero. they stopped nothing. people stop and go wow and buy their shoes made under animal conditions, race hate will not change because there's a few monuments of him laying around. if anything i think they make us remember; just before we commit the same sin over.
after a few rereads of the last line, i agree that it's not only off but very weak. i'll have a pop and shoring it up later. with the refrain, at first i spelt yoke as yolk. managed to alter it before and feedback came hehe.