Presenting

Presenting

billy Offline

Are you alluding to me?

Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009

10-18-2011, 06:07 AM

i wish i could help Big Grin

maybe (and i mean this seriously) it's an illusion. my eyes see the i am's, and the brain takes over in saying, this feels wordy.
same with the time and seeing lines. when i read it, it feels a little forced. i really do wish i could give suggestions but i don't know a trochaic from an elbow. now it sounds like i actually don't like poem but i do. i just feel the way i do about that stanza. sorry for being vague.

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Messages In This Thread

Presenting - by Leanne - 10-16-2011, 07:40 AM

RE: Presenting - by Wildcard - 10-16-2011, 12:06 PM

RE: Presenting - by Leanne - 10-16-2011, 01:45 PM

RE: Presenting - by billy - 10-16-2011, 02:02 PM

RE: Presenting - by Leanne - 10-17-2011, 06:11 AM

RE: Presenting - by billy - 10-17-2011, 02:50 PM

RE: Presenting - by Leanne - 10-18-2011, 05:38 AM

RE: Presenting - by billy - 10-18-2011, 06:07 AM

RE: Presenting - by Leanne - 10-18-2011, 07:03 AM

RE: Presenting - by billy - 10-18-2011, 09:56 AM

RE: Presenting - by Philatone - 10-18-2011, 02:38 PM

RE: Presenting - by addy - 10-20-2011, 12:11 PM

RE: Presenting - by Leanne - 10-24-2011, 06:59 AM

RE: Presenting - by abu nuwas - 10-24-2011, 08:53 AM

RE: Presenting - by billy - 10-24-2011, 12:45 PM

RE: Presenting - by Leanne - 10-26-2011, 03:31 PM

RE: Presenting - by billy - 10-27-2011, 05:31 AM

RE: Presenting - by abu nuwas - 10-27-2011, 08:04 AM

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