10-17-2011, 06:06 PM
it feels smoother.
it feels more human, i think. not that the original wasn't that, it was. i think the removal of enumerate was a winning move. jmo.
if you split it, i'd also split the last verse into 3 and 4 liners respectively with the 4 liner being the finale.
it feels more human, i think. not that the original wasn't that, it was. i think the removal of enumerate was a winning move. jmo.
if you split it, i'd also split the last verse into 3 and 4 liners respectively with the 4 liner being the finale.