Last Christmas

[billy]

All year he planned the final phase:

On custom stationary, leaves (i'd omit the comma to give it more than one meaning)
complete directives that he wrote,
enumerating in detail: this line feels redundant
Guard your mother's wedding veil,
check inside my safe deposit box,
cancel all my future mail…


Throughout these final Holy Days:

He gave the grand-kids extra candy;
kisses with a little note--
his presence. Wrapped beneath the tree, great line
each of their gifts where they would see.
Now, in the car within his closed garage--
leans back, relaxes, turns the key.

ICSoria

an utter sad piece of poetry. apart from the two nits (which don't really matter) it works.

at first the title made me think it was going to be a happy poem, i don't know why. then the 1st line changed my mind. it worked well because it jolted me. most of the last stanza tugs at the heart strings. so i think you get a desired result. what makes it poignant is the fact the 1st person seems to be overseeing the final act. jmo
thanks for the read sid.