Last Christmas

[Philatone]

hey soria!
here are my thoughts

All year he planned the final phase:...i like this as an opening

On custom stationary, leaves ...present tense "leaves" threw me off. could it be past tense, or is this something that needs to be emphasized as happening right now? I think it would still work in the past, saving the present for the last stanza. just my opinion, of course
complete directives that he wrote,
enumerating in detail: ...is this line necessary?
Guard your mother's wedding veil,
check inside my safe deposit box,
cancel all my future mail…

just an idea; how about a line about his signature? i was curious how he closed this letter. of course, only a suggestion. i do like this section on his note.

Throughout these final Holy Days:

He gave the grand-kids extra candy;
kisses with a little note--
his presence. Wrapped beneath the tree, ...nice lil play on words
each of their gifts where they would see. is this line necessary
Now, in the car within his closed garage--
leans back, relaxes, turns the key. agree with leanne on this, nicely done. the stanza as the whole helps to lessen the blow

ICSoria

hope to add some more notes later, but this was my initial reaction