10-14-2011, 04:22 AM
I was debating about the same thing as billy with Stygian. I kinda liked turning it into a noun, but that's just too much I suppose. If anything, I think it could work simply as
"I slip into the Stygian
Cool clean sheets"
or something of that sort, commas as you like if at all. I also had a quick question about the setting, but eventually assumed it was a cemetery as well and thought better of it. maybe a quick word or two thrown in for orientation's sake could be helpful.
maybe seeing those other stanzas would be good also; as stated, a little length here may not be a bad thing
let's see what we can do mark. i do think you are on to something
"I slip into the Stygian
Cool clean sheets"
or something of that sort, commas as you like if at all. I also had a quick question about the setting, but eventually assumed it was a cemetery as well and thought better of it. maybe a quick word or two thrown in for orientation's sake could be helpful.
maybe seeing those other stanzas would be good also; as stated, a little length here may not be a bad thing
let's see what we can do mark. i do think you are on to something
Written only for you to consider.