Going Away Party

[billy]

bitter fog mingles with tilted stones
whose worn inscriptions
chuckle at strangers

for within my sarcophagus
tasting petulance,
feral urges loiter

summoned to the dance,
I slip into the Stygian
like cool, clean sheets

i'm presuming the cemetery is the setting. i like the opening line but not the "bitter" could something else work better (not thick ) also chuckle feels a little off. stygian relates to the river stix. it isn't the river of itself, stygian water, creek, or pool would work along with a number of of other words. if you moved cool clean sheets to the 2nd line of the 3rd, and the "of the stygian (insert word here) to the last it would give it more depth.

i like the concept, would love to see it stretched and made darker, thanks for the read.