Idleness

[billy]

Along this river
We drift, alone.
Between lips
Of jungle leaves
On a liquid tongue
Of bumbling foam.
We hang our hands
In water, and grab
An alligator,
Asking
“Where, why?”

The grinning gator
Slyly responds-
“Oh my
Please-
Ask again later”

Yes,
We have no guess
As to where we could be going
When adrift
In idleness
And without knowing.

along this river?
the river of idleness?
i'm going to be really honest and say that when i first looked at the poem addy was here and said it's a bit surreal like alice through the looking glass.

if thats the intent of content. a sort of moment of imagination in the mind of the idle, it needs something more robustly anthropomorphic. (like the creatures in Carrol wrote about.

if not then for me it feels a bit forced.

along this river
we drift alone.

i thought it was the river of life. all in all it feels like you're trying a bit too hard to be poetic larry. you're making the reader work to hard to understand what's being shown.

i get a feeling of whats being said (the seeking of direction, questioning the meaning of it all) but i'm not sure it's for the right reasons. that could be my fault i know. so take what i say with a pinch of the proverbial.