Autumn Paintbrush - Revised/rewritten

[Wildcard]

Hi Stef,
What a journey this poem has already made. Following the thread thus far has been an incredible ride through some amazing workshopping. Two thumbs up for your honesty-seeking disposition and the community spirit here. As to the poem, I love it:

Revision- rewrite 2

Argent.


such a natural feeling opener in spite of containg a couple of words that I didn't know 'baize acres' is perfect imo
winter wheat breaks ground
exhales
the plain rolls mizzle
around baize acres
towards the village


should silver translate
as grey or white?
paint palettes battle at dawn
against monochrome
waxen brass-rubbed knights


in the church tattered banners hold
heavy time like woven dust --this line gave me such a clear image. I like the possibilities of the banners holding memories
bright arms, faded painfully,
herald the presence
of proud feudal lords
betombed and noseless --gave me a start the first time through - I kind of half-laughed. I like it if that wasn't clear.

argent and or, the tints of chivalry
white and yellow's brightest hues
shine thus as sun frills
the edge of clouds --in an earlier version this was 'castled clouds' or something similar, it seemed much richer
and spills through stained glass
azure, gules and vert
onto mildewed marmoreals
dispersing any shades of grey. --I like the ending too. 'dispersing' is so much better than the usually 'drove away' or something more fierce. Like there wasn't any effort involved.

As far as 'marmoreals', I Googled it and all I got was memorial. Is that it?

Great poem and great process. IMO this should become the 'poster thread' for workshopping. Thanks for sharing Stef.