Autumn Paintbrush - Revised/rewritten

[addy]

This is a wonderful poem... some areas need polish, but you often more than make up for it with moments of brilliance. I'd have to agree with the others, I think a mash-up of your first version and revision will give you fantastic results. I'm sorry to see the wheat fields stanza go (its gorgeous ), but it's your call if you feel the poem is more solid without it.

Here are a few of my thoughts. Thanks very much for the read.

Revision

In the church
tattered banners hold particles
of heavy time I don't think "In the church" is a strong enough opening line on its own, so the I do prefer your original phrasing: "In the church tattered banners hold// particles of heavy time"
herald proud effigies
of feudal lords and ladies
betombed and noseless,
bright arms faded painfully; lovely lines... you can replace the semicolon with a full stop here, I think

paint palettes battle for authenticity imo "authenticity" doesn't quite work because its lost the context of dawn... maybe say "paint palettes battle at dawn" instead? Just a thought.
does silver translate to grey
or white?
it was all dubbed 'argent'
when they were young;
medieval artists
could not mix the tints I think maybe "colors" would be more evocative than "tints"? Or adapt "silver and gold" from your original draft.
to shine thus as the sun
frills the edge of castled clouds;

yellow and white
sufficed for shows of splendour
when they still had their fingers;
Argent and Or,
azure gules and vert,
and , no doubt,
a lot more shades of grey
than you could shake a brush at. These last few lines don't make for a particularly strong ending. Maybe something like (this is just an offhand suggestion) "and endless shades of grey// more than you could change a brush at". Something like that or retool it however you wish