Tyrant

[Philatone]

Hello Heslopian,

The tides are rushing forth to flow
through a plughole in her breast.
Memory and conscience spill

down the blue fields of her blouse. beautiful
Somewhere a man of certain race is collected from his home
and murdered in a jail cell.

this shift caught me offguard, but I like how it is in the middle rather than the beginning

Many years ago a girl
was thrust onto a blazing heap.
Red cotton socks falling apart. for some reason, I had trouble with this. the word 'apart' seemed interesting to me for socks; like, the material unraveling? burning?

He withdraws the knife and frowns
at a stain on his new shoes.
He tears the woman's blouse, having already ended a line with blouse, this really stood out to me, though I don't think it was good attention. maybe i'm missing a form; otherwise, finding away to incorporate it inside of a line might help with flow, like you did two lines down with "breast"...

shoves the separated cloth
in a breast pocket.
Takes her key, leaves the room,

locks the door then slides the keyusing key twice here in such a short span also distracted me a bit
through the letterbox.
In a faraway palace death warrants are signed.can this line be shortened? It would have a slightly better rhythm with the rest of the poem, or so it seems to me. Maybe just "Faraway, death..." or "somewhere" i know the palace is nice to have, but I think the distance between this general and the crime is slightly more so.

The general has had his lunch -
champagne, chicken, chocolate mousse -nice alliteration, and all food words! I think that if these words also demonstrate the general's wealth, serving the same purpose as the "palace" above
and is tending to some work.

nicely done, these were just my quick thoughts