10-05-2011, 10:40 PM
Thanks for your feedback guys
I'll think about how I can strengthen the message (I may add another verse) and remove those extraneous "the"s.
One question for ICSoria: when I read the "each" and "every" lines in my head they flow well as they are, or at least better than they would the other way around, so is your suggestion based objectively on meter or a personal sense of rhyhtm?
I'll think about how I can strengthen the message (I may add another verse) and remove those extraneous "the"s.One question for ICSoria: when I read the "each" and "every" lines in my head they flow well as they are, or at least better than they would the other way around, so is your suggestion based objectively on meter or a personal sense of rhyhtm?
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe