Defining Birds

Defining Birds

billy Offline

Are you alluding to me?

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Joined: Dec 2009

10-05-2011, 03:03 PM

stanza 4 works better (for me)
i'm not sure neighbour improves the verse. it changes it but not sure if it improves it. so i'd prob think the same if it were used on the next verse as well.

as a suggestion, would "a life" or "a creature" help any.

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Messages In This Thread

Defining Birds - by Philatone - 10-05-2011, 12:36 PM

RE: Defining Birds - by billy - 10-05-2011, 01:28 PM

RE: Defining Birds - by Philatone - 10-05-2011, 01:43 PM

RE: Defining Birds - by billy - 10-05-2011, 03:03 PM

RE: Defining Birds - by ICSoria - 10-06-2011, 01:12 AM

RE: Defining Birds - by Philatone - 10-06-2011, 04:26 AM

RE: Defining Birds - by billy - 10-07-2011, 05:50 AM

RE: Defining Birds - by addy - 10-07-2011, 04:30 PM

RE: Defining Birds - by Leanne - 10-08-2011, 07:14 AM

RE: Defining Birds - by billy - 10-08-2011, 09:21 AM

RE: Defining Birds - by Philatone - 10-08-2011, 12:28 PM

RE: Defining Birds - by billy - 10-10-2011, 12:33 PM

RE: Defining Birds - by addy - 10-10-2011, 03:28 PM

RE: Defining Birds - by heslopian - 10-12-2011, 03:28 PM

RE: Defining Birds - by Philatone - 10-13-2011, 04:47 AM

RE: Defining Birds - by heslopian - 10-13-2011, 08:26 AM

RE: Defining Birds - by Philatone - 10-13-2011, 08:44 AM

RE: Defining Birds - by heslopian - 10-13-2011, 11:04 AM

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