APPLAUSE

[Philatone]

Hello Heslopian!
Here are my thoughts, I hope they find you well

Life could never work like this: every boy and girl a wit, like the rhythm here. good flow
deflating any tension with a needle-like aside, I get the idea with the needle. But I think the image is incomplete; is it the needle itself or the needle's deflating something like a balloon that is being compared? i might be too nitpicky
as the daughter's new boyfriend is thrown out by her dad.
But even more perplexing is how this unreality, mmhmm yummy
windows reflecting the studio lights, can be the ultimate comfort. The first half of this line made me think. I like how the windows show the disconnect; I feel that traditionally they have a more positive connotation (what with nature and sunshine and outdoors) but you've subverted it a bit and it is refreshing.

You know the cameras touch the edge of the carpets and lino,
formaldehyde preserving each mannerism, facial tic, I think the formaldehyde is a tough word to use in a poem, but here it feels effortless and completely correct to me
spectral laughter blundering like soldiers through a native camp. "blundering" is a strong word here; I think it captures that sense of intrusiveness well. I'm still not sure how I feel about the simile with the soldiers.
But this can be forgiven if the phoniness is comforting, got a bit distracted because a line already ended with "comfort" in the first stanza. I would also like some elaboration. Why is it comforting? What does that mean? I understand, and yet I want to understand more. I feel as though you were about to explain at the end of the first stanza, but instead the poem shifted to describing cameras monitoring the scene.
floral womb enveloping the static multitudes. APPLAUSE. great use of "applause"!

I enjoyed the bit about the cameras in the second half and the writing overall. It certainly was a pleasure to read. The similes i'm still debating on, and the message I think is lacking a little strength. I guess it seems like a battle between the falseness of it all and the need for it to feel relieved in life. I just want more on that comfort aspect. What about it is comforting for people? Or maybe I'm supposed to be left with that question, because I shouldn't be comforted by something so false?
Hmm.
I hope this helps to some degree!