In the Name of the Father

[billy]

[ind] [ind] [ind] the Name of the Father


Gone. Gone gone. Will you walk where we once walked, and wear
[ind] [ind] [ind] what we once wore?
Left..left left. Will you wander on the Wealden Way, with wild white
[ind] [ind] [ind] rose and hegerows? like how you invite him to the way.
Or..or...or... Will you watch the wisps of wounded, welted warrior- excellent consonance
[ind] [ind] [ind] -ghosts as they walk dead in gore?
Rain, rain. Rain well, upon the roses and the roads, wash clean
[ind] [ind] [ind] our saddened ways where no man goes!
In...in...in the name of the Father.... Where are the wished for i like the repitition here, it feels like the 1st person is lost
[ind] [ind] [ind] evening scents, and where the wind

Amid the screams and sounds of wails of those who could not pray
[ind] [ind] [ind] because they had not sinned? wonderful image in this couplet

.
[ind] [ind] [ind] [ind] [ind] [ind] (In... in....

In the Name of the Son

In Stondon Park, between Ridsdale Road, and the massive Brockley
[ind] [ind] [ind] Jack, there stand for me the syntax feels askew
Near suburban houses in the street, a Hawthorn, pink, with a Rowan
[ind] [ind] [ind] hand in hand. another great image

In the Name of the Holy Ghost

El-Hajj, 'Halal' Meat, as well as fruit and some other eaty things,
[ind] [ind] [ind] is opposite;
Xenophon now owns this one. It a convenience store and should "It" be "it's"
[ind] [ind] [ind] as well as veg., unlocks
Cell-phones (Mobiles) or repairs accessorize (sic). Khan's it is,
[ind] [ind] [ind] although upon

Entering, you find, that Khan is gone, and even that nice Afghan,
[ind] [ind] [ind] who so much
Longed, to get a green card, and somehow get his dentistry
[ind] [ind] [ind] qualification,
Studied for in Kabul, recognised by going to Williamsburg. I wonder:
If that blackbird's ancestors sat here, and watched the Legions
[ind] [ind] [ind] leaving London,

[ind] [ind] [ind] leaving London,
Slogging down this very road: 'Mithras, God of the Sun, teach me to die aright!'


Note:
People! This is supposed to be an acrostic, 'Gloria in Excelsiis', but I just cannot get it formatted. The draft is OK, but the propper thing just reverts to type. Help appreciated!¬

and here's why the poet has to, and can only be the one to chose how to edit...i think it's great the way you have it formatted. i like the way you incorporated the "asides" and i think it great we have differing opinions because it makes the poet think that bit harder if they decide to edit.

my favourite part was the corner shop sequence, it was like being at home back in the uk. to much for me to like to pick it all out. nothing constructive to say apart from the two nits in the body of the poem.

i thing the centred lines and the tabbed lines make the acrostic stand out even more, as such words (gloria in excelsis) should for those of the faith. i think format-wise "in the name of the father" would have been better centred. i like how you brought god down to earth (pun intended) or should i say invited god down. and of all places, the wealden way. i suppose that's as apt a place as any. (jmo)

i enjoyed the poetry of it, thanks for the read.