In the Name of the Father

[heslopian]

Love the poem, hate the format. Why the 4 - 6 word lines enjambed from the ones above them? Why not just move them up, making the acrostic clearer and the poem neater? For me this reads like someone threw a bomb into Shakespeare's Hamlet. The lines themselves are brilliant - elegant wording, concise imagery - but they're scattered all over the shop, so your beautiful passages are ruined by ugly presentation. Just my opinion, of course. Like I said the lines themselves are brilliant. You show a real gift for storytelling, mixing human interest with classic images, like a Siegfried Sasson poem. Screams, sounds, scents, wails, roses and roads... Gorgeous stuff. Now all you need is to knock it into shape