10-04-2011, 09:52 PM
To open, I would like to say thanks for such the positive feedback. I've been heavy into Pablo Neruda for the last year, and his almost spiritual connection to everything. That is how I found such, at-times, contradictory images, though how he manages most of what he manages evades me by a mile.
I will have a peak at the stanza with the bucket and the red purse; "red" actually came first to me but if it seems too much, I can find an eraser. I feel as though a little energy is lost without it though, I have to admit. The bucket had to have something else otherwise it would get lost; I think it still has a bit of its original sense though and I like it
Oh and for the last stanza, originally I had it as "crowded" but it I wanted motion, a sense of something that hasn't finished, and something that flowed a little more with "boarding;" I'm glad you like it too, bill!
Thanks again, much appreciated!
I will have a peak at the stanza with the bucket and the red purse; "red" actually came first to me but if it seems too much, I can find an eraser. I feel as though a little energy is lost without it though, I have to admit. The bucket had to have something else otherwise it would get lost; I think it still has a bit of its original sense though and I like it
Oh and for the last stanza, originally I had it as "crowded" but it I wanted motion, a sense of something that hasn't finished, and something that flowed a little more with "boarding;" I'm glad you like it too, bill!
Thanks again, much appreciated!