10-01-2011, 05:53 PM
A beautiful piece of work. I liked the changes you made except for "on the nature/of circles." I preferred the abrupt ending of that staza in your second version. (BTW that was my favorite stanza, not the last one.)
I felt the poem was very tactual (and you get texture in the very first line)--the soil, the stretch of legs, beatific warts, stone Buddha and the rain. You did that very well.
I felt the poem was very tactual (and you get texture in the very first line)--the soil, the stretch of legs, beatific warts, stone Buddha and the rain. You did that very well.