09-30-2011, 03:22 PM
@ La Gitana - Yes, this is the poem I mentioned to you. I am removing 'sting'. I chose 'uneloquent' as a sort of juxtaposition. Thank you very much for your feedback!
@ Mark - your comments are not at all inane. The strophe you struggled with should be taken in context with the line below it. It is a rebirth of sorts, a longing for something beautiful, unattainable, and sturdy.
@ Leanne - Contemplating the plurality of pillars. The full stop after 'as close as I came' is an internal stop. I shall pull it. Your insights and feedback are wonderfully appreciated.
@ Billy - I am considering your suggestion to pull L2. Thank you so much for your time and offerings!
@ Todd - [you could say that the scars of life are already there at birth beneath the skin waiting to be reveal led.] This is beautiful - it merits a poem of its own.
@ Mark - your comments are not at all inane. The strophe you struggled with should be taken in context with the line below it. It is a rebirth of sorts, a longing for something beautiful, unattainable, and sturdy.
@ Leanne - Contemplating the plurality of pillars. The full stop after 'as close as I came' is an internal stop. I shall pull it. Your insights and feedback are wonderfully appreciated.
@ Billy - I am considering your suggestion to pull L2. Thank you so much for your time and offerings!
@ Todd - [you could say that the scars of life are already there at birth beneath the skin waiting to be reveal led.] This is beautiful - it merits a poem of its own.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?