Hi Karren,
Welcome to the site!
It's good to see you posting. I want to focus on two lines in your poem:
Strumming guitar strings
Staring at my ring
We all start somewhere with our work. When I think back to my early poems they had many of the characteristics I see in this poem. They rhymed because poems are supposed to rhyme (aren't they
) and they lacked imagery. I honestly think this poem is world's ahead of my first love poems, but like mine it still has a lot of things you could work on. First I would suggest don't worry about rhyme (you can always introduce it later) worry about content. And then, tell the story with pictures (imagery).
In these two lines you hint at that when the speaker of the poem stares at their ring.
A ring suggests a promise of fidelity. The circle suggests a neverending bond. This is the beginning of imagery. The strumming of the guitar strings on their own though do not direct the reader in the mood they need to have. I'm going to include a link to a poem that I think demonstrates what I'm talking about. It is by Ted Kooser and it's about a similar subject. It's called After Years. It's about a man catching an unexpected glimpse of an ex-lover. Notice the imagery Kooser uses. Think about how in your poem you can express the mood by showing us things.
Here's the link:
http://www.poemhunter.com/best-poems/ted...ter-years/
Again glad to have you here. Keep posting.
Best,
Todd
Welcome to the site!
It's good to see you posting. I want to focus on two lines in your poem:
Strumming guitar strings
Staring at my ring
We all start somewhere with our work. When I think back to my early poems they had many of the characteristics I see in this poem. They rhymed because poems are supposed to rhyme (aren't they
) and they lacked imagery. I honestly think this poem is world's ahead of my first love poems, but like mine it still has a lot of things you could work on. First I would suggest don't worry about rhyme (you can always introduce it later) worry about content. And then, tell the story with pictures (imagery). In these two lines you hint at that when the speaker of the poem stares at their ring.
A ring suggests a promise of fidelity. The circle suggests a neverending bond. This is the beginning of imagery. The strumming of the guitar strings on their own though do not direct the reader in the mood they need to have. I'm going to include a link to a poem that I think demonstrates what I'm talking about. It is by Ted Kooser and it's about a similar subject. It's called After Years. It's about a man catching an unexpected glimpse of an ex-lover. Notice the imagery Kooser uses. Think about how in your poem you can express the mood by showing us things.
Here's the link:
http://www.poemhunter.com/best-poems/ted...ter-years/
Again glad to have you here. Keep posting.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson