09-30-2011, 03:17 AM
Jack,
IMO, you have some pretty good basic imagery going on here. I like that first line; highlighting "devotee," as opposed to reluctant recipient. Since you point out this is a song, I choose not to critique meter, for even as a layman I understand music often dictates metric flow which can be much different than simply reading the same lines.
Sid
IMO, you have some pretty good basic imagery going on here. I like that first line; highlighting "devotee," as opposed to reluctant recipient. Since you point out this is a song, I choose not to critique meter, for even as a layman I understand music often dictates metric flow which can be much different than simply reading the same lines.
Sid