First attempt at posting

[Wildcard]

Hi Marc,
   It's good to see you posting. I enjoyed your poem a lot and then when I quoted your post I could see from the quote that you had formatted your text with multiple indentions. As you have already discovered, simply inserting spaces doesn't work.
   To format the indentions in your poem, you will need to use MyCode, the style language of the forum. The code for spacing indentions like in these two paragraphs would look like this:

Code:

Hi Marc,
[sp] [sp] [sp] blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
[sp] [sp] [sp] blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

For more info on the MyBB functions, you can look here:

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Either way, I am a newbie, but I like to try to do crit because there is a possibility I could be helpful . . . maybe

WHISPERS FROM GALAXIES BEYOND GALAXIES

Whispers . . . voices that carry the essence I like both the title and the opening line, but 'whispers' in both IMO is overkill. You might want to think about rephrasing the title.
and unseen curve of galactic ether
and wind kissed trees
of future revelations . . .
meditations that dance swirling without fear,
dreamlike,
sailing rapidly through spiritual worm holes
toward the clarification of beautiful horizons never imagined.

Oh would that we could breathe
with highly evolved lungs
past the disturbing doorway
that holds our present state of consciousness
like a manipulated dark mandala,
unable to break free,
unwilling to allow a river of light
to flow outward from the until now
encrusted banks of the heart.

Slowly, slowly . . .
but with a miracle of stars as our guide,
we must begin to hear the ancient secret choir
that has always been there.
This spinning cycle of life and death
will in time dissolve,
becoming only the roots,
the sumptuous nutrition
that manifests in possibilities of a stillness, great line. a very fresh way to express the longing for peace
a gift that opens the mind
to an unlimited understanding of Creation’s
manifold magnificence.

The universe is an echoing womb
that has given birth to god held lanterns,
to the ignored visionary hymns
that herald the ignition,
the warmth of a trillion candles I think a definite number may hurt the ambiguity of the piece, maybe just some for of 'a bunch of' though, obviously not that
that will eventually draw us in to the radiance
of a divine and generous compassion
that rises in waves of a limitless circular release.
Listen, oh listen . . .
the harp player of the heavens
is restringing his instrument,
his fingers are the elements that give causation
for our sentient existence.
Harken to the godmother and her luxurious lullaby,
she quietly murmurs intonations
from the farthest reaches of the all inclusive.
May our ears in time develop
the amplification necessary to hear
their cryptic and benevolent message. Smooth ending IMO. If I had a nit, it would be the last line. Maybe replace 'and' with yet or maybe even just a comma.

   On the whole, I think you've done a great job conveying a real emotional response to life and the 'essense of being.' Thanks for sharing. I hope to see a lot more of your work.