(content) just fiction

[ICSoria]

Jack,
You certainly make your statement clear within the intensity of this piece. I would not want you to change much but would like to see you tighten the meter somewhat (JMO), by excluding a few extraneous words such as I have suggested. This would lend itself to a bit of punctuation; commas and such. Keep it mostly as you have it, simply streamline it.


(content) just fiction
i

rip rip rip her son
like a sheet of crepe paper

or sugar glass one breath could break

watch her shatter
silly girl

blood and bones by chapter 3
but i'm an honest sort

see my kids and baseball cap
below the author's note
i buy cookies from girl scouts

and if while dropping sally off
at her ballet class
i thought about a young mother
strapped to a broken door and raped
not with phalluses but knives
there's no need to prosecute

it's all just fiction kid

ii

all the neon dust jackets
like bar signs slicing through the dark

open the peephole snap her bra
fill a tissue drain your beer

throw me in the wastebasket
with last month's hustler

it's all just fiction
just fiction
all just fiction kid

Sid