09-27-2011, 07:06 PM
This is chillingly beautiful. I love how it escapes seeming arrogant and whiny, yet is of course tormented, terse. I also like that you used an epigraph, something I sometimes do and am criticised for
My one suggestion would be that you change "of" to "on" in the last line of the first verse, as that seems more grammatically sound.
My one suggestion would be that you change "of" to "on" in the last line of the first verse, as that seems more grammatically sound.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe