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Automontage
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09-27-2011, 10:31 AM
Okay, not what someone wants to hear on a revision but I think the first version is stronger. The longer lines in the revision feel like they're weighing the poem down. The shorter lines feel more surprising and more montage-like.
Sorry, just my initial reaction
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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Automontage - by Leanne - 09-26-2011, 01:41 PM
RE: Automontage - by billy - 09-26-2011, 03:16 PM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-26-2011, 03:19 PM
RE: Automontage - by billy - 09-26-2011, 03:25 PM
RE: Automontage - by ICSoria - 09-26-2011, 08:06 PM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-27-2011, 08:09 AM
RE: Automontage - by ICSoria - 09-27-2011, 09:26 AM
RE: Automontage - by Ca ne fait rien - 09-27-2011, 05:50 AM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-27-2011, 08:14 AM
RE: Automontage - by Todd - 09-27-2011, 07:15 AM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-27-2011, 08:19 AM
RE: Automontage - by Todd - 09-27-2011, 09:12 AM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-27-2011, 09:19 AM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-27-2011, 09:31 AM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-27-2011, 10:25 AM
RE: Automontage - by Todd - 09-27-2011, 10:31 AM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-27-2011, 10:34 AM
RE: Automontage - by billy - 09-27-2011, 10:35 AM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-27-2011, 11:36 AM
RE: Automontage - by only rob - 09-28-2011, 11:25 PM
RE: Automontage - by Leanne - 09-29-2011, 08:15 AM
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