Automontage

[Leanne]

On first read, this came across as a sort of blind-date gone bad but I suppose one's imagination will always interfere with the poet's intended reality--not necessarily a bad thing as I have come to understand.

I usually tend to observe rhyme and meter before other things. I consider you expert at both and thus am curious to understand your choice in this particular rhyme pattern, besides having fun with rhyme, I am sure.
You always do so well with rhymes and these are simple, effective, and unforced. In my mind, simple rhyme scheme, along with a shorter tetrameter give poems a less serious feel and if combined with longer strophe's can create a slightly more tedious read overall. Though I realize you did not intend this to be a totally serious piece, I do not see it as entirely facetious either. Because I greatly admire your word usage skill, I would rather have seen you create something slightly more complex with these rhymes, perhaps a bit of internal rhyme, with extended metric lines, and more compact strophe’s.
Just one pathetic poet’s opinion here.

Sid

Thanks Sid -- all very valid points. To be honest, when I started writing the first stanza I had Simon & Garfunkel's "Homeward Bound" stuck in my head and the rest of the poem was partly an attempt to exorcise that damned tune! The rhymes fell where they would -- this was originally as close to automatic writing as I've ever come, and I get a little bored with rigid schemes from time to time. Plenty of those in the portfolio already

It is probably one of my least facetious pieces -- I'm sure you've noticed my occasional tendency toward the not-very-serious. Unfortunately, for me that generally means addressing a subject I have very little wish to touch on directly, hence the aversion to complex and anguished lines.

Many thanks for reading.