09-26-2011, 04:18 AM
On reading the poem I had an extraordinary image of that rubber fish where you press the button and it wobbles about and sings 'don't worry, be happy'. The fishy imagery fits so well wth the harridan (do you say 'fish-wife' where you are from?) . Being sort of like here to offer crit, an' all, I womder if there are too many gerunds in a relatively short piece and if it might be a bit more vehement with some crisper verbs? Not fucking though. That wouldn't work being as it is an adjective not a gerund. I have never known ketchup to fuck.
As you can probably see, I like this and enjoyed the read quite a lot.
As you can probably see, I like this and enjoyed the read quite a lot.