09-25-2011, 04:54 AM
You know this reads like a Trigee - I was challenged to write one once....You can read it as two verses (down the page and down again) or as one whole thing. See my effort......Yes, I know it is very twee - but ignore that and concentrate on the form....see what I mean with your poem?
Giggling kids, having fun................ It's Grandad's Birthday - 7lst
Eating food on the run........ ...........Kids stuffing cake until they burst
They are sick, baby's posseting.......Bedlam, riots and chaos reign
Mums are far too busy gossiping.....Will the house ever be the same?
'It's late, kids should be in bed!'.......Who cares if a little sleep they miss
Granny sighs and shakes her head....Grandad wants his birthday kiss.
(Your verse is 100% better than my load of old rubbish!)
Giggling kids, having fun................ It's Grandad's Birthday - 7lst
Eating food on the run........ ...........Kids stuffing cake until they burst
They are sick, baby's posseting.......Bedlam, riots and chaos reign
Mums are far too busy gossiping.....Will the house ever be the same?
'It's late, kids should be in bed!'.......Who cares if a little sleep they miss
Granny sighs and shakes her head....Grandad wants his birthday kiss.
(Your verse is 100% better than my load of old rubbish!)