09-24-2011, 06:11 AM
(09-23-2011, 08:43 PM)John Holland Wrote: Hannah dancesI appreciate that you will have reasons for the way you have chopped this up , John, so I won't suggest dividing the strophes up any differently, although I might have been tempted to. What do I know.
in the back of my
thirsty mind
head bare in the sun
as she moves
swivel-hipped
to a tune I can’t
quite remember.
Humming to herself and might lose the 'and' here
watching the dust dance
around her pretty feet.
The dark eyes flash lies
and her tanned thighs
are strong and sinuous.
She laughs to herself
as she dances in the
lonely desert of
this man’s dry heart
and in the corners
of eyes better suited like these 5 lines- wish they were together
to staring through
heat haze at distant
horizon lines
where ghost cattle
walk knee deep
in phantom water
and where the
promise of
tomorrow is
lost inside the
truth of today.
Reality is
a man
a horse
a dog
a long way home.
I really enjoyed the piece. It gave me the image of that optical illusion dancer where you can make it move clockwise or anti clockwise because of the shadows on her feet. (just an aside). The longing and loneliness, maybe even homesickness here is well communicated.