09-23-2011, 09:16 AM
I have no problem with archaic, or archaistic speech, though I felt 'not some blood to fall' goes beyond that. We might say 'I don't want some fool to do it', but I think it has to be preceded be a negative verb of that sort.
Without reading too hard, I like the concept of the Silver Plate taken from many images, and also to me, reminiscent of the chalice and plate with which the Eucharist is administered. So I then tie in the blood of the tale, with Christ's blood, from the Cross, as well as if I have it right 'Ne'er grows the Rose so red as where some ancient Caesar bled' from Omar Khayya, and the Rubaiyat of Fitzgeralld.
I feel it is a bit choppy as it stands but could be improved, and would be worth trying.
Without reading too hard, I like the concept of the Silver Plate taken from many images, and also to me, reminiscent of the chalice and plate with which the Eucharist is administered. So I then tie in the blood of the tale, with Christ's blood, from the Cross, as well as if I have it right 'Ne'er grows the Rose so red as where some ancient Caesar bled' from Omar Khayya, and the Rubaiyat of Fitzgeralld.
I feel it is a bit choppy as it stands but could be improved, and would be worth trying.