09-22-2011, 04:29 PM
This piece is quite hard to critique. The parts I can glean are quite beautiful (blood on the ground growing into weeds instead of the cliche flowers, the silver platee which I assume will carry the head) but a lot of it is hard to understand because of the odd grammar (odd grammar could be a style, of course, but there needs to be some consistency that makes it decipherable)
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?