Poetry Tip: Don't Communicate

[billy]

I'm not sure if this is relevant to this particular thread, but I am finding that the advice I am receiving on here mainly consists of 'cutting out dead-wood'...I, obviously, suffer from a tendency to labour the point. But, where does the scalpel stop cutting?
It reminds me of this old story. A village grocer puts up a sign saying 'Fresh Fish On Sale Here To-day' His first customer says 'Fine sign, Claude. But, you don't need the word 'Fresh' we know you wouldn't be selling stale fish' the customer doesn't buy any. Claude crosses out 'Fresh'. The next customers says 'Fine sign, Claude. But, you don't need the words 'On Sale' we know that you won't be giving them away.' the customer doesn't buy any. Claude crosses out 'On Sale'. The next customer says'blah, blah, blah you don't need the word To-day, we know you won't be selling them tomorrow (or yesterday)'. he also doesn't buy any. Claude crosses out the word To-day. The next customer says ' blah, blah, blah you don't need the word 'Here' where else would you selling 'em?' He doesn't buy any. Claude crosses out the word 'Here'. He is left with the word 'Fish'.....it is the end of the day. He doesn't need the sign. You can smell the fish from miles away!

Bye, grannyjill

lets assume that instead of 'Fresh Fish On Sale Here To-day'
he writes 'look everyone, 'Fresh Fish On Sale Here To-day' it's on sale and it's here to day'

the latter is how many write narrative poetry.

the first is how it could/should be written. minus the 'here' excess words usually detract from good poetry. adversely, some poetry needs to be extended to be good.