09-22-2011, 03:00 AM
(09-21-2011, 09:06 PM)bogpan Wrote: Did they demand my head -For me the poem really began with L8.
Salome? I do not think this line is necessary. Are you meaning it as the definition of her name, Peace? If so I would suggest either rendering it as such, or changing your title.
Is it the price of the sole
Fondness. 'Fondness' works better in L14
Now, when ready is I stumbled with your grammar here.
The Silver Plate
on it I'll put it by myself I stumbled with your grammatical structure here as well
not some blood to fall
on the ground
and some weeds to grow
into your renewed
Fondness.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?