Reflecting on Lost Love

[grannyjill]

Hi, Leanne - I prefered my original 'I was lost' but I did search around trying to create something stronger. The image which presented itself to me was of some-one lost in the woods (so the line became 'I was lost in a wood' which allowed me a rhyme with 'could')....but, I decided to make it simply 'place' because when some-one is mentally lost it is in a shapeless, shifting place.
The 'final' blooper I noticed and I had decided to change it....see, I am learning!
Thank your for your time.
bye, grannyjill
ps - am I supposed to leave the 1st revision untouched, and then post the 2nd revision?
pps - I almost forgot. I didn't use your beautiful 'kiss' line exactly as you wrote it because, on reflection (no pun intended) it didn't say quite what I wanted to say.
Hi, Aish
I wrote my response to you and then lost it as my computer 'configured updates' -
I think what I said was that I agreed with you about 'dark place' and gladly jettisoned it. I was going to argue about removing the last line, since that meant removing the first line, too....but, blow me, when I did remove both, it worked! Thank you for that.
I am keeping 'was' because, although it does seem unnecessary, I do think it is needed in the 'reflected' verse.
Thank you for your help.
bye, grannyjill