Misogynist

[Todd]

Hi Jack,

The tone of the piece backs up the title. Here are some comments for you:

Two red eyes are stuck to the black--great opening line. It makes the mother come off as a creature of darkness out of legend. I like the break and the entire "black of my childhood" part
of my childhood, in the foreground of the frame,
my stereo and dirty books hovering behind.
Since nineteen I've been tunelling back
through the months, then years towards
her body like a lone island.--I like this a lot. This entire tunneling idea going back to meet your parent before conception reminds me a bit of Sharon Olds "I Go Back to May 1937"

When we met on the patio
your bracelets caught the sun. Fugitive beams
bathed in your glass, propped against the dying ice.--These are really nice lines. She had no light in her but glowed with captured light (as if her alure was a pose). We have fugitive beams (really nice) as if they are prisoners or criminals to give themselves to her. The glass placed next to dying ice gives a sense of fake versus real. Though I also like the actual event (the woman with sunlight melting the ice in her drink)
And I had tunnelled all day long--all day long seems too short a time for the jouney
to reach you there mother,
hiding yourself in this prettier form.--is there a better way to say "hiding yourself"? disguised maybe

All women share the same spirit, like the strain of some disease
ploughing through the rat kingdom.
So her, the bitch, creator and scum,
who bore me like a dead tumour,
flows among your bones.

--Jack, this is the strongest strophe in the poem. I would ask what the longer first line here is meant to do? Is it meant to be thought of as a rant? The deviation in line length draws attention to it, and I'm not sure what it gives you that a break after spirit wouldn't accomplish (could just be me) One other thing, I think the strongest place to end this strophe is on tumour. Would you consider moving flows among your bones from the end of the strophe to making it come after disease (just a thought)

Your punishment is still a germ, evolving all the time.
Regardless what you say, my dear, you're her, you're her, you're her.--the repetition carries a sense of horror. I like how you've ended it. In this case for the final two lines, the longer lines make sense to me.

I thought it was good Jack. Hopefully the comments will be helpful to you.

Best,

Todd