09-17-2011, 09:30 PM
(09-17-2011, 08:13 PM)grannyjill Wrote: As you can see, this is a very personal poem....so please "tread softly because you tread on my dreams"I love the gentle familiarity and the glimpses you give us of your kids. It's a beautiful, home spun piece.
Memories
The house is silent now could you combine the first two lines, something akin to 'The house is softly silent now'?
Not sadly silent, softly so.
But, if I sit and listen Is 'but' necessary?
I can hear
Bass boom from the attic room Do you need the upper case 'B' on bass?
Ben, again - House music's insistent beat
then
Michael Jackson's falsetto
"This is thriller, thriller night..."
The soft slide of John's moonwalking feet.
In Kirstie's room, a baby cries
"Go to sleep my baby
Close your pretty eyes"
Then the slamming of doors
as Laura storms
Upstairs to her room (again)
And there, just faintly
the quiet pad of a small cat's paws.
As each echo grows
Then softly fades and goes Is 'goes' necessary?
I smile to myself
Though the house is silent now.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?