09-15-2011, 05:00 PM
a senryu is a lot like a haiku. the form, the seasonal word, etc.
but different in that it can use metaphor and double meanings
and things connected with traits of man.
in essence, a haiku is a snapshot or image of nature
for instance, praying mantis don't sigh, and wind doesn't veil elegance in an image of nature. they are more human foible than image
though they could .
here's a snippet from wiki;
Senryū tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature, and senryū are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are more serious. Unlike haiku, senryū do not include a kireji (cutting word), and do not generally include a kigo, or season word.
while there is some nature in the piece it's interspersed with idea instead of image.
it makes a good senryu (if thats what you aimed for but as you don't know about them it makes a half decent haiku
Soft breeze whispers veiled
elegance and pheromones:
Praying mantis dies.
soft breezes carry
sweet jasmine and pheromones -
Praying mantis dies
i this instant, the middle line is the cutting line (change of direction) once you get to where you're at you can as SJ states; play with it
sweet jasmine of the smell of it represents the seasonal part of a haiku i think the mantis mating also covers it seasonally.
soft breezes carry
pheromones on sweet jasmine -
Praying mantis dies
you end up with an image that's tight, excess in haiku is considered a waste of breath...and words.
something you'd already achieved
so you can go senryu which is less rigid and doesn't need the image, season or cutting point, or the haiku which do. hope it helps a little Aish.
oh, in one respect. they are the same, neither have to follow the myth of 5, 7, 5 syl count. thats number is really arbitrary and just a guide for those new to the form. basho often did really short haiku
but different in that it can use metaphor and double meanings
and things connected with traits of man.
in essence, a haiku is a snapshot or image of nature
for instance, praying mantis don't sigh, and wind doesn't veil elegance in an image of nature. they are more human foible than image
though they could .
here's a snippet from wiki;
Senryū tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature, and senryū are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are more serious. Unlike haiku, senryū do not include a kireji (cutting word), and do not generally include a kigo, or season word.
while there is some nature in the piece it's interspersed with idea instead of image.
it makes a good senryu (if thats what you aimed for but as you don't know about them it makes a half decent haiku
Soft breeze whispers veiled
elegance and pheromones:
Praying mantis dies.
soft breezes carry
sweet jasmine and pheromones -
Praying mantis dies
i this instant, the middle line is the cutting line (change of direction) once you get to where you're at you can as SJ states; play with it
sweet jasmine of the smell of it represents the seasonal part of a haiku i think the mantis mating also covers it seasonally.
soft breezes carry
pheromones on sweet jasmine -
Praying mantis dies
you end up with an image that's tight, excess in haiku is considered a waste of breath...and words.
something you'd already achieved
so you can go senryu which is less rigid and doesn't need the image, season or cutting point, or the haiku which do. hope it helps a little Aish. oh, in one respect. they are the same, neither have to follow the myth of 5, 7, 5 syl count. thats number is really arbitrary and just a guide for those new to the form. basho often did really short haiku