09-13-2011, 10:46 PM
Billy,
Reading this gave me the feeling that a once very intelligent sould is losing his marbles, his memory or both. Is he literally locked up? I'm not sure because of the 'broken windows' part.
I love how you have inserted this momentum into your work. It pulled me over and reminded me that the poem was going somewhere.
(I get a little confused reading this. I see the mind erasing good memorys and maybe describing them as happening in the beginning)
The last part (if I am understanding it correctly) feels very sad to me. Like he has forgotten where he came from; like it may have never been real . . .
Awesome job and I'm jealous of your imagination.
Reading this gave me the feeling that a once very intelligent sould is losing his marbles, his memory or both. Is he literally locked up? I'm not sure because of the 'broken windows' part.
Quote:It doesn't stop time.
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The mind clock tick tocks
I love how you have inserted this momentum into your work. It pulled me over and reminded me that the poem was going somewhere.
Quote:The mind clock tick tocks
erases the sweet things
the humble kick-starts.
(I get a little confused reading this. I see the mind erasing good memorys and maybe describing them as happening in the beginning)
The last part (if I am understanding it correctly) feels very sad to me. Like he has forgotten where he came from; like it may have never been real . . .
Awesome job and I'm jealous of your imagination.