09-13-2011, 01:30 AM
Thank you, Todd. I knew that you had seen this before, and I didn't expect you to respond. I'm glad that you did.
This is one of the poems which came to me almost entirely as you see it here. It has a particular meaning for me, and is, probably, not a good poem to ask for help with. I'm glad you pointed out the cliche - not a hair out of place (I'll certainly work on that). I think I liked the 'handsome face' 'out of place' 'expensive taste' rhyming (I'm such a child). The final verse I will remove (and maybe rewrite) (but if I ever show this to my brother I will put it back).
Bye, Jill
Hi, Addy,
What you say about the fourth verse reinforces Todd's view...and I know that you are both right.
The spur for this poem was seeing my brother (who looks so like our father) experiencing the same black moods. "Like father, like son" came to mind....though this is far from the truth.
Bye, grannyjill
Thank you for reading and commenting.
This is one of the poems which came to me almost entirely as you see it here. It has a particular meaning for me, and is, probably, not a good poem to ask for help with. I'm glad you pointed out the cliche - not a hair out of place (I'll certainly work on that). I think I liked the 'handsome face' 'out of place' 'expensive taste' rhyming (I'm such a child). The final verse I will remove (and maybe rewrite) (but if I ever show this to my brother I will put it back).
Bye, Jill
Hi, Addy,
What you say about the fourth verse reinforces Todd's view...and I know that you are both right.
The spur for this poem was seeing my brother (who looks so like our father) experiencing the same black moods. "Like father, like son" came to mind....though this is far from the truth.
Bye, grannyjill
Thank you for reading and commenting.