Awakening

[heslopian]

I had to read this twice before I understood exactly what was going on. At first I assumed in my British way that you were talking about soccer. I was also helped by glimpsing Todd's comment first comment just below. I think mentioning the sport would help clarify the narrative tenfold. That aside, this is an awesome piece of work.

I was the youngest of the players,
content to give others the stage.
But in the waning days of summer,
the afternoon sun
painting long shadows
on the bustling playground, Nice image. I especially like "painting". Shows imagination when you could easily have gone with "casting".
there came a moment
when I reached for the ball,
stopped, gathered, Would "prepared" make more sense than "gathered" here, as the narrator's just about to jump?
and rose like some god
above the asphalt
glittering with diamonds of broken glass, Excellent simile. "Some god", instead of just "God" makes it more powerful I think.
high above the outstretched hand
of my defender,
the thunderous traffic,
the cloud of my father’s anger,
and the chaos that was my life.
Like a dark fish
single-mindedly tracking
a dragonfly scuttling low
over a silent pond, Another awesome simile, my favourite excerpt from the whole poem.
breaking the surface,
finding itself exposed,
to a world of brilliant colors
exploding in the sun; Gorgeous.
my body playing out some inner wisdom,
knowing it was my time;
alone with the bent metal rim;
its infinite circle beckoning, Love "infinite circle".
offering a brief moment of clarity,
the world below stone silent.

I dropped back to earth,
as the chain net jangled,
waking me from the dream
that had become my life. I don't think this last verse is needed. Everything it says is implied in what comes before it, and the end would be much more striking, even suspenseful I feel, if it were gone. "The world below stone silent" seems like a greater last line. Just my opinion.

Revision 3-

Aside from the few nits mentioned above this is a highly accomplished poem. Thanks for the read, peter6.