Awed by Everything

[Leanne]

the notes flutter,
distinct wings of stained glass -- brilliant image, and unlike Billy, I think it's introduced really nicely by the previous line
to me, but he -- excellent use of rhyme
grew jaded,
pawed for them . . . -- I'd prefer to see a comma here than an ellipsis
for validation.

he played.
stumbled through
mud. -- this could probably join the previous line, and end with a colon maybe?
greenhorn.

I wonder if that's what poets think of me.

saw him -- what about "took him" instead?
for a rookie,
but when squinting . . .
a flutter,
the wings -- what about a little reversal, "the wings/fluttered"

between errors.
a stunted songster, blundered strums, -- great line
yet passion bubbled.
a child
awed
by everything. -- I'd put this up on the previous line

I wonder if that's what poets think of me. -- if you feel like stringing this out a tiny bit more, you can emphasis "of me" by putting it on a line by itself

Nothing gives me a bigger kick than recognising in someone else the same passion I have (or maybe once had) for something I'm reasonably decent at -- it's the best way to remind me of why I started doing it in the first place.

Though I never call myself a poet, more of a grammar cheat and word mangler